The Worst TV Theme Show Ever

I'm not a trekkie. But I have enjoyed just about every Star Trek show that's been produced - including Enterprise. It takes place earlier in the Star Trek timeline than the original series did, when humans had just reached the point of space travel outside their own solar system. It follows the explorations of the first Enterprise spaceship.

It's a good show and it plays off of the development of the prime directive, which is one of the central themes in all versions of the show. The prime directive is the universal law that no species should interfere with the natural evolution of another species - no matter what the situation may be.

Despite the show itself being good, the theme song is atrocious. It is one of the most generic, cliched (I feel cliched even saying that something is cliched) theme songs that I have ever heard. In fact it's one of the worst songs I've ever heard - period.

The lyrics get across the most general, watered-down idea of the show but the music is so culturally incestuous that it feels completely foreign to what the show is about. Think of the cheesiest TV anthem you can and then double it. That's what the theme to Enterprise sounds like.

It's so bad that I actually payed attention to who wrote and sang it so I could do a little research.

Diane Warren wrote the song, which is entitled Where My Heart Will Take Me. I went to her sight and found out that she's had many top ten hits from a variety of very popular artists........ that all sound awful! She's responsible for some of the most god awful music to hit the airways in recent years. I was gonna mention a few but I just can't bring myself to open up a pathway between this blog and that heinous music.

The song is performed by Russell Watson. He sounds like your average 3rd generation Brian Adams knockoff in the Enterprise theme song but when I went to his site all I heard were classic international favorites done in the most cheesy (profitable) fashion.

Now the guys voice isn't bad but this is a classic case of the "singer" sydrome that I first encountered at Berklee.

Let me start by saying that I'm not talking about all singers - I'm talking about people with a good voice who can replicate a variety of songs and genres but don't have a creative cell in there body. If you are making someone happy with that stuff than you're at least contributing something to humanity in general, but musically speaking it's the equivalent of a fast food hamburger. Yeah you made a hamburger in a pretty package but it's the palest imitation of the real thing a person could ever encounter.

Who gave the OK for this theme song? I wish I was at that meeting so I could have steered those lost souls toward the realm of sanity. Not only is it a ghost of anything remotely musically pertinent, it doesn't even match the tone of the show. Couldn't you have just done another regal orchestral theme like all the others? At least that wouldn't detract from the quality of the actual show.

I don't make it a point to yuck-yuck on someone else's yum-yum but this track has got to be the worst track I have ever heard.

Jeeeeeeez!

(whew)

I feel better now.